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January 22, 2010

International And Inter-racial Dating

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , — Owen Jones @ 6:18 pm

This piece of writing is about my experiences of international and inter-racial dating. It is simply an account of what I have witnessed and experienced myself over the course of my life so far, although at 55 years old, I am nearer the end of it than the beginning. It is my guidance on dealing with an international or inter-racial relationship.

It all began at an early age when I was in infant school at seven. There was a Filipina girl in our class and I could not take my eyes off her, although I almost certainly did not know much about it then. We parted at eight when they moved closer to another school and I never saw her again.

My next encounter with a foreign girl, was the mademoiselle junior teacher at school and I was convinced that I would marry a French country girl when I grew up. That passed when the German helper arrived.

When I was fourteen, I went on a school cruise to Leningrad and there was a party of exchange students going home to Sweden on the same ship. I went out with one of them for roughly a week and first realized the problems that can come from international dating. There was a minor language barrier, but it was fun getting over that. The real difficulty came, because I had predetermined ideas of what Swedish girls were like, probably instilled in me after years of silly ‘Carry On’ films.

At sixteen, I went to Germany to work for the summer and I found it very easy to get on with the German girls, although they were shyer that I was expecting too. Also an outlook I owed to silly Health and Efficiency ‘sex films’.

After finishing university, I moved to The Netherlands to live. It was the seventies and Dutch girls were great. However, I made friends with male British colleagues first and soon saw some of the issues that can come from an international relationship. Most of the men I knew were typical Brits and made totally no attempt to learn Dutch at all. Surprisingly, many Dutch people could not speak English either, particularly the parents.

This lead to a surprising quantity of tense moments in a week and that put a lot of pressure on my friends’ relationships. It is so easy to start name-calling when you are angry and it is the worst thing you can do. The Dutch girlfriend or her parents or friends would be called ‘a stupid cheese eater’ or something equally daft and the relationship was over or in trouble for days. I do not recall what the Dutch called us.

I vowed to myself there and then never to get serious about a foreign girl because the arguments were just too much. Food was never a problem. Culture was not much of a problem, although where I was in southern Netherlands, most people were Catholic and I am not. This did perplex some parents but not me. Travelling was always going to be the drawback. Do you live by her parents or yours? Especially when children start arriving. Most countries have stronger family ties than Britain.

Then, at 50, having never been married, I went to Thailand, where I met my wife-to-be. Asian culture is very different from British or even European society and it is a real shock to both parties. Anyway, five years into our relationship and we are still fine. I recollect the reasons I gave myself for not marrying abroad when in The Netherlands and I was wrong, but not much.

If you are going to enter into an international or even inter-racial relationship, you had better learn how to manage your anger. It is the most important advice you will ever get. Being understanding of other points of view is important too, but not getting angry is more important. Furthermore, you must try to learn something about your partner’s land, culture and language, otherwise you cannot join in any discussion your partner may have with someone who does know a bit about it.

I have never seen religion be a problem ever, except in an argument. My wife is Buddhist and I am not. We talk about it, but there is never any stress. Food, again I have never seen a problem in this field. Clothing, again no problem in my life. If you get into an international or inter-racial relationship, keep your temper, do not shout, do not get angry and talk things out calmly.

Inter-Racial Relationships are in great demand! See who is looking for you at Dating The Real Way

December 24, 2009

Bread Machine Mixes For Bread Making Machines.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — Owen Jones @ 7:55 am

Are bread machine mixes any good? Yes, some of them are, but the problem with all bread machine mixes is that they limit your choice and discourage your creative talents. That may sound a little harsh, but think about it for a minute. If you rely on bread machine mixes you can only make the bread for which you can find a bread machine mix and you can only put the bread machine mix in the bowl and switch the bread making machine on. You are not encouraged to alter the bread machine mix for fear that it won’t work.

What is the alternative? Well, the old-fashioned recipe book, of course! Not just any old cookbook, but a specialized bread making machine recipe book. Bread making is a very simple, but rather tedious process. The ingredients are ubiquitous, household items: water, flour, yeast, salt, sugar and oil. You certainly have those items in your cupboard with the probable exception of the yeast, which can be bought almost anywhere at minimal cost.

And you know what happens when you follow a recipe, don’t you? You’ve read the recipe through and you know you have everything in the kitchen, but when the recipe calls for, say, currants, you open the cupboard door and see that you don’t have any currants – they were sultanas! Oh, well you think, they’ll do. You make do. You experiment. You are developing your skills and creativity. Bread making mixes cannot do that for you.

A good bread making machine cookbook will have well over 100 recipes originating from a number of different countries and you will become really enthusiastic about trying out the different ones. Have you ever tasted Welsh bread – Bara Brith? Or Amish bread? Jalapeno bread or banana bread? Cranberry bread is lovely too, but one of my all time favourites is Brazil Nut Bread – absolutely delicious.

The point is that you may not find recipes for all these breads in one place, but if you have a reference point, like a bread recipe cookbook, you can start off by using tried and tested gourmet bread recipes and gradually concoct your own – sometimes out of necessity.

I once made a really great loaf of bread by adding some of the leftover vegetables from my Sunday dinner. It was delicious, but I could never quite make the same loaf again, because I had not written down the proportions of the vegetables. I could only remember that it had green beans, potatoes and sweet corn in it!

Bread machine mixes will never in a million years give you that, will they? And bread machine mixes are relatively expensive compared to the cost of five kilos of flour. I always vary the ingredients too: honey instead of sugar, milk instead of water, olive oil or butter instead of say, corn oil. Rock salt instead of sea salt or visa versa. You get the picture.

Bread machine mixes are limited and limiting. A bread making machine is a great way to use up leftovers. I have even put meat and fruit in my gourmet bread. My principle is: if it’ll go in a sandwich it’ll go in the dough – like an Indian stuffed paratha or stuffed naan bread.

Stop buying bread machine mixes – they are a waste of money. Instead be creative with a bread machine recipes cookbook.

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